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Excerpt From Dating To Relating - From A to Z - "How To Pick Up Women in Bars and Clubs"

EXAMPLES

 

Let me give you some concrete examples of what I am talking about. Here is what I did 25 years a go in the bars. And by the way, I've tested it, and it still works today!

 

First of all I stood around for about a month and did nothing. I was scared shitless. I had just gotten divorced (from a wife who was also my first girl friend) and I was shy and didn't have much experience with women.

 

Love Girls: So for the first month I just stood around and observed. One of the things I observed early on was Love Girls. Love Girls were women who came into the bar usually late (about 11 or 12) and basically they were looking to get laid. They were great looking, confident women. They always walked in alone (NOT with a girl friend) and they walked slowly and sexily through the club. They looked every man in their path directly in the eyes, but I observed the typical guy would get shy and embarrassed and would look away. He would then gulp down some alcohol and I could see him trying to build up his courage to go back at her. However, the Love Girls would move on and if no guy did the right thing she would walk through the club and then LEAVE. (She wanted to get laid and wasn't going to waste time with a bunch of losers. She would just move on to the next club.)

 

Every once in awhile, however, I would notice some guy would walk up to one of these Love Girls as she walked buy and simply ask her to dance. "Would you like to dance." Nothing more and nothing less. I then noticed whenever this happened the "Love Girl" would always say "Yes" no matter what the guy looked like and then they would go out on the dance floor and dance for half and hour or so, then they would leave together.

 

So after a few observations, I tried it. I walked right up to a Love Girl and said "Would you like to dance" she said "Yes" We danced for awhile, definitely in the sex grove, then I asked her if she wanted to go to my place. Again she said "yes." We went to my place and of course had sex.

 

Not only did it work with the first "Love Girl", but it worked over and over again. All I had to do was SPOT a love girl-- by her characteristic walk, dress, attitude, confront, etc. then the rest was easy. Then I got even smarter when I spotted this band one day. There were a dozen or so Love Girls in the audience. But NOW they were REALLY horny because they all thought this band was real sexy. Well this time, I just turned to the girl in back of me who was real hot and sexy, and with out a word I just started kissing her (remember this was the 70's before AIDS. So I wouldn't do and wouldn't suggest stuff like this now. I am just using it for illustration PURPOSES.) She kissed me back, and after a few moment of making out , without a word, I took her hand and we went out side to the parking lot, got in my car, and had sex right there, then came back into the club, when we were done. I don't know and never even asked her her name.

 

After that, I made a point of getting this band's schedule and started following them. Worked Like a charm. A number of years later I also found that if I went to the bars that had the male stripper shows for girls only, right after the show was over, there were always a bunch of horny Love Girls on the spot no fail.

 

The Tease: Another observation I made over the course of time were the beautiful women, who purposely teased men. They flirted with you, but when you went over to hit on them, they would eventually go cold, after a while they would totally ignore you. This tease left you totally confused, after all, how many women flirt with you, hit up on you? She had to like you right? Well, these girls always had a cadre of frustrated men following them wherever they went, kissing their assess and confused.

 

I began to notice that the only guys who ever left with these teases, or ended up dating them, were the guys who totally ignored them, who seemed like they could care less, Then one day I just got it. It came to me in a brainstorm. I realized that you had to ignore a tease, get her to hit on you and keep her hitting on you all the way into bed by continuing to ignore her. But the question was: How do you communicate to some one you are ignoring? Well the answer ended up in a technique similar to what "Mystery" uses now a day. I would simply walk over to one of theses hot teases, position myself right next to her (but not looking at her--sort of shoulder to shoulder--close enough that she could hear me but not close enough that she would take my position as showing any interest in her) and then I would wait for another hot girl to walk by or close. As soon as one did, I would shake my head as if to myself, and mutter some comment such as "Is she hot or what?" or "Wow."

 

No matter what I said it was always a comment on how hot the girl who walked by was. I would always end the comment by looking at the tease, as if she were just some stranger, who I was randomly expressing my delight in "the girl who just walked by" to. WITHOUT FAIL, the tease would very shortly always then tell me in one way or another that guys do to her what I just did to this other girl ALL the time.

 

(NOW HERE IS THE CLOSE) I would look at her like she was a little nuts, like she wasn't hot at all, but would say very politely (as if feigning politeness) "Really" or some such comment to get her to talk some more. (Of course they would always go on and on at this point trying to convince me how hot they were, and after 15-30 minutes or so, I would say something like "Look, maybe you ARE a good looking women, it's just perhaps hard for me to see it because you are definitely NOT my type" (I would then describe my type to be the opposite of whatever they were. If they were blonde I liked brunettes. If they had big ones, I liked little ones, etc.) Then I would say "But did you ever consider that perhaps men like you NOT for the way you look, but for your personality, because after listening to you here for awhile, I THINK you have a great personality and maybe that is why men like you.

 

After those words the Tease was mine. They would invariably say. "Oh my god, I have never met a guy like you in my life. I can't believe you. I have never had a guy say he likes my personality. (Rightfully so, because they were usually perceived by men as cold bitches.) You are so interesting...

 

From that point, the girl would invite me out, and generally increase the gradient of flirting and teasing to get a reaction out of me as she typically got from all those other men, and when she didn't get the reaction, she would up the ante of flirting, until she eventually, jumped me (had sex with me) to get a reaction. (It usually took 3 dates.) But, of course, I knew from months of observation, that if I ever admitted I was attracted to her, if, I ever took the lead and hit on her, or let her know that I was really attracted to her and was lying, it would be over. So, I never did. Instead, I only complimented her personality, and if I said anything about her physically, I always did it as if I was being polite and trying not to hurt her feelings. Or I would say something that gave her a sense of progress (the idea that they were winning me over) but never a full compliment--something like "You are still not my type, but you are looking more attractive to me then when I first met you. Who knows, maybe I COULD see you as totally beautiful some day. "Eventually, as I said, they would tease me all the way into bed. And even after sex, when they asked me "Was it good" I would simply respond " it was Ok...but that is not important, what is important is that you are a great person, and I really like you." (Now this was never hard to do, because Teases without variation, were the worse lovers as a group that I ever met.)

 

After a while I got to understand what was really going on with these girls and why they did what they did. They were all beautiful girls who were made to feel unconfident as children. They were all told they were ugly and such things, when they in fact weren't. So they grew up with low self esteem and were actually very afraid of men. Somewhere along the line, however, they learned that men reacted well to them and that they could get men to do anything they wanted by flirting with them. In their minds, they still did not think men did this because they were good looking, they just thought men did it because men were horny and easy to manipulate. So, when they flirt with a man, and the man reaches and aggresses back, these girls basically get scared and run away. They are working on their self confidencehowever, that is why they are in the bar every day or every weekend. And when I didn't aggress against them sexually, but told them I liked them, I gave them a safe zone. They weren't afraid of me. So they raised the bar and tried to "win me over" so to speak. Winning me over, made them feel better about themselves. And of course got me laid. This strategy worked 100% of the time.

 

Then there were the regular girls, I use to call them GRADIENT GIRLS. I called them that because after a lot of observations I noticed there was a gradient scale of sexual reach or interest. Here it is:

 

First there is negative sexual talk. (This is talking about not having sex, or not wanting to have sex, or talking about someone else who is into sex as creepy, disgusting, or characterizing them in some other negative way, etc. This is the lowest form of sexual interest someone can show you. Because they still ARE talking about sex. And they are talking about it with YOU. People who really aren't interested in sex or you don't bring it up at all, and really don't get "into it" if you bring it up. I learned about this one day, when I was driving a fellow student home from college. She invited me up to her apartment, but quickly informed me that I couldn't have sex with her. Since, I had shown her no sexual interest, and since I really wasn't interested, I found this rather odd. A few weeks later she seduced me. She got me to have sex with her when I didn't want to and wasn't really attracted to her. This is when I put it all together. She was attracted to me from the very first. And her negative comment about "not having sex" was the level at which she began her sexual flirting.)

Then positive sexual talk.

Then Eye Contact 

Then slight brief touching

Then extended touching.

Then kissing,

Petting,

Heavy petting,

Intercourse.

 

Now most people think sexual interest starts with positive sexual talk, but it doesn't. And the funny thing about this gradient scale is that you have to match the level the other person is at or you can lose a prospect very quickly. So if a girl is into flirting at "negative sexual talk" and you try to come on her at "positive sexual talk" you will lose her.

 

Now most of your regular girls hanging out in clubs, whether with or without girlfriends, have a negative view towards guys. They think guys who are there just want sex, etc. And they are probably right. So the way I would come on to a regular girl in a club, was simple. I would stand next to her (similar to the Tease Girl above) and wait for some guy to hit on some girls in a stupid way that confirms what most girls thinks about guys. I would then make a comment about how stupid that was, etc. sort of out loud to myself or whomever was around (sort of like I did with the Tease Girl) ending by looking at her in disbelief. She would then chime in very quickly about how stupid it was, and from there I would lead the conversation into a negative "sex talk" about how I hated clubs, hated all the games and meat market stuff that goes on, etc. This would usually go on for about 15-30 minutes and then she would invariably say the magic words: "But you are different" to which I would reply "Yeah, you are different too." From there it could go in many directions depending on the girls. We might dance, or continue in an engaging conversation, but now the conversation was into positive sexual talk, from there we would start with the little touches etc, and eventually it would lead to making out, petting, heavy petting, kissing, etc.

 

Now none of these techniques are "Cocky and Funny" or any such, and by the way Cocky and Funny does work on a small band of girls in the club (and in life) too. I would label them the Boredom girls.

 

But here is the principal behind Cocky and Funny and the Love Girl, Tease Girl and Regular Girl techniques. And that principal is not to be "Cocky and Funny" but rather to be "Interesting and Unique."

 

You see the guy who has the balls to walk up to and confront the horny "Love Girl" is interesting and unique to her because most guys are too scared to do it. But he is definitely Not Cocky and Funny. He only has to open his mouth and confidently ask her to dance. The guy who tells the "Tease Girl" she's not that hot, but has a good personality is "Interesting and Unique" to her, because ALL guys reach at these girls and tell then how beautiful they are. The guy who can dish out negative sex talk to a "Regular Girl" is "Interesting and Unique" to her because she never finds guys like this in the club. And of course the Boredom Girls, who get guy after guy after guy hitting on them and kissing their ass find "Cocky and Funny" totally Interesting and Unique. Boredom girls are a kind of a random, casual and pointless-talk band of girl, and Cocky and Funny is random and pointless talk. The other techniques are more directed.

 

There are other types of girls too. And combination of types. We will go over some of these others in later chapters.

 

Some techniques are Quick and Easy and some techniques are pure seduction and can take a very long time. We will also go over some of these in later chapters.


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** Published 2006 **

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** Published 2007 **

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** Published 2007 **

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** Published 2007 **

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** Published 2007 **

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