How To Manage "Creating A Better Relationship"

In last weeks Newsletter we discussed the principles of creating a better relationship. This week we are going to discuss the principles of managing "Creating a Better Relationship."

Now what do I mean by manage?

Well Webster give us a workable definition

"to exercise executive, administrative, and supervisory direction of"

To put it in a way you might understand better. To mange something is to direct it so that you achieve your purpose. So if our purpose is to "Create a Better Relationship", how do we manage our activities so that we achieve our purpose.

Well, the best way to mange anything and to control the direction towards a purpose is by a combination of observing the statistics of the activity and planning off of that.

For example, if you are playing football and you are on the 50 yard line with a third down and 3 yards to go for a first down, you can come up with a plan to achieve your purpose much better than if you had no idea where you were at, what down it was, and how many yards to go for a first down.

Most guys are in that condition of "not knowing where they are at" when it comes to a relationship. They have no idea. If you want to win this relationship game you have to monitor your statistics at all time - know where you are at and act accordingly. Statistics are PERCEPTION. They allow you to see where you are at in relationship with respect to your goal. Without statistics you are BLIND and stupid (like the guy who doesn't keep track of his bank account statistic (his balance) and is bouncing checks all over the

place!

So the question is what is the most important statistic for a guy to watch and monitor with respect to relationships. WRITE THIS DOWN, because you are not going to get it from any of the other Dating Guru's. The statistic you want to monitor is MOTION. Specifically MOTION TOWARD and MOTION AWAY.

You won't believe how important the observation of this statistic is until you start doing it. It will change your life. It is not only involved in men/women relationships it is involved in any relationship you can think of (For example, I use it extensively in sales).

Now, when it comes to women you should be watching MOTION from day one. I discovered the importance of this when I was 25 and doing the bar scene nightly, I was very shy and just stood there for about 2 months looking at people and talking to no one.

After a while, I began to watch the MOTION involved in interactions rather than the content (what people say) of interactions. That is when I became suddenly successful.

I recommend that if you haven't already read my three articles on the bar scene that you do so now:

Would You Like To Know How To Pick Up Women In Bars And Clubs?

( http://datingtorelating.com/pick_up_women_bars_and_clubs___article)

How To Meet Women In Bars and Clubs.

( http://datingtorelating.com/meet_women_bars_and_clubs___article)

Do You Want To Know How To Attract Women In Bars and Clubs?

( http://datingtorelating.com/attract_women_bars_and_clubs___article )

These are excellent studies in situational techniques derived from observing motion and I will refer to them below.

And although I don't talk about the concept of motion in these articles, the study of motion is how I developed these three different strategies for these three different personality types.

You see, personality even boils down to motions, these three types of girls each exhibited a uniquely different but rather common MOTION pattern in the bar scene. I simply worked out the corresponding MOTION pattern that directed and increased their MOTION vector towards me and became successful in these situations 100% of the time.

Now what most guys do in the bar scene is some arbitrary motion pattern they learned from some GURU without observing the motion at hand, or they do their own arbitrary motion pattern. The arbitrary pattern will work a percentage of times, so most guys, if they hit up on enough girls with any kind of motion, will eventually find someone it works on.

But what makes observational technique and strategies superior is that you are not doing some arbitrary. You are doing the exact thing that works and you win 100 percent of the time across ALL Motion patterns, and ALL personality types.

There are only three basic motions a person can do with respect to you. 1) Move toward you, 2) move away from you, and 3) stay in the same place with respect to you (no motion).

Now when I talk about motion here with respect to a man/woman relationship I am talking about motion towards you in many ways, like: 

1) physically (a women moves closer to you, touches you, etc.)

2) mentally (agreement would be a motion toward, disagreement a motion away) 

3) emotionally (liking you and feeling comfortable would be a motion toward and disliking you, feeling uncomfortable with you would be a motion away)

4) communicatively ( wanting to talk to you would be a motion toward, not wanting to talk to you would be a motion away).

Then there are different channels of communication. A girl could lean into you very sexily, touch you lightly, and tell you what a bastard prick you are. If you only pay attention to the content you could be blown away. If you only pay attention to the touch 

She could blow you away. But if you pay attention to the complex communications and all the motion vectors involved, you would know what to do.

Now these three basic motions combined with different channels of communication can get very complex as not only are there different channels of communication but there are motions within motions.

For example if you read the article above "How To Meet Women In Bars and Clubs."

(http://datingtorelating.com/meet_women_bars_and_clubs___article ),

My approach to these Beautiful Teases is a complex example of applying these basic motions.

When I observed these women I noticed that they had a rather unique motion. They would approach guys and flirt with them, but if the guys flirted back or moved towards them (which MOST did) they would turn and RUN away. I then noticed that the only guys who ever got these girls were the guys who didn't respond to these girls' approaches with a motion toward, but just ignored them.

So I developed a strategy of MOVING TOWARD them (would walk over and stand next to them) but point my body AWAY from them (stand side to side not get up into their face) and I would then direct my attention AWAY from them (look at THAT girl) and emotionally my conversation would move TOWARD them as a friend and AWAY from them as a "good looking body."

It worked.

Now in my book "Dating to Relating" I teach you all about advanced and complex motions like the one above, but for the sake of this essay if you just start observing the basic motions you will be way ahead of most guys.

So let's get back to relationships. If you are in a relationship, the girl is either moving TOWARD you - physically, emotionally, mentally, and communicatively or she is staying in the same place with respect to you, or she is moving AWAY.

THESE ARE YOUR STATISTICS that you use to mange your relationship. You watch and observe what is she doing and the direction of her motion.

If she wants LESS sex, she is moving away. If she doesn't talk to you as much, she is moving away. If she is getting bored with you, when she use to be enthralled she is moving away.

If she wants "to talk" about things (guys hate this) she is starting to move away, but she is simultaneously moving toward you (wanting to communicate about it.)

Now what do you do about it?

Check out my article above on the Regular Gradient Girls in "Do You Want To Know How To Attract Women In Bars and Clubs?"

( http://datingtorelating.com/attract_women_bars_and_clubs___article )

The gradient approach is the approach you will usually have to take to repair a relationship that is MOVING away from you. The lack of CREATE over time creates a MOTION AWAY. THE DISTANCE AWAY will determine how quickly it repairs. A year of NO CREATE could really damage some relationships and take an equal amount of time to fully repair. Others could be repaired in a few weeks. It really depends on the DISTANCE away the person has drifted AWAY during the period of NO CREATE.

It also depends on WHO has been doing the NO CREATE and is responsible for the drifting apart. If you have been creating the whole time and she hasn't, that is a lot harder to repair then if she has been creating the whole time, you haven't, and then she sort of gave up. START creating here and that one will repair real easy.

REMEMBER about gradients, as I talk about in the above article, and ONLY do those things which create a "motion toward' from her. It doesn't matter what you think is cool. You might think that giving her a diamond ring is real cool and should create a motion toward you, but if it doesn't, that is a STATISTIC and it tells you a lower gradient is out.

A lower gradient is just something that you have to do first before the higher gradient will work. Like in football, you usually have to get to the opponent's 40 yard line before you can consider a field goal. Trying to do a field goal when you are at your own 10 yard line is pointless.

In the bar scene article above.  I had to have the "negative sex talk" with the girl before I could have "positive sex talk" - it is just the way that it is.

So don't put your feelings about things above your observations. It does not matter what you feel is good, should be good, or should work, etc. OBSERVE what makes her move toward you on the vector you are working on - physical, emotional, communication, mental - and CREATE more of that. OBSERVE what makes her move away and STOP doing that.

REAL SIMPLE - observe what makes her move toward you, CREATE more of that. Observe what makes her move away from you and STOP doing that.

Now if you just do those two simple actions on a dally basis you can make any relationship better and continue to grow and you can repair a relationship that has gone astray.